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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23977585">Still Hurting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergirlfics/pseuds/supergirlfics'>supergirlfics</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:55:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,928</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23977585</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergirlfics/pseuds/supergirlfics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a short one shot (could turn into more maybe) based on the song "Still Hurting" from The Last Five Years. Just a quick look at Lena coming to terms with emotions over losing Kara and seeing that Kara has so easily moved on without her. Can be set into current storyline if you'd like.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers &amp; Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Still Hurting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yeah, so listen to "Still Hurting" from The Last Five Years to go along with this story if you'd like. You don't have to, I just used it to get the general basis of the idea of this story. Hope you like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A distant thunder rumbled overhead as rain clouds began to move into National City. The sun had just started to set, casting and orangish-pink glow throughout the sky as the clouds worked their way in. </p><p>It was an average late spring evening and Lena had allowed herself to leave work around 8pm, leaving a little early for once. </p><p>Her day hadn't been too eventful, only a few meetings and several hours of paperwork- she had even taken a small break that afternoon to get some tea from the coffee shop across the street from L-Corp. </p><p>Before leaving her office, she had called a to-go order into Noonan’s for her to pick up before she headed home for the night. </p><p>She had decided to walk the few blocks from work to the restaurant, enjoying the walk, knowing that it would be rainy the next several days, so she wouldn't be out much. </p><p>Arriving at the entrance of Noonan’s she pulled open the black framed glass door and headed into the to-go section of the restaurant. </p><p>“To-go for Lena.” She told the server as she approached the counter. </p><p>“Let me go check on it in the kitchen.” The waitress smiled, heading off to retrieve her order. </p><p>While she waited, Lena pulled her phone out of her pocket, seeing that she had two new messages from Sam. </p><p>The first message was a photo of Ruby and Sam holding up two plates with a slice of cake on each of them. </p><p>The second was a text message. </p><p>‘She missed her Aunt Lena, so we decided to make your infamous chocolate cake! I have to admit that I miss you just a little bit too.. call us soon! Love you! Xx’ </p><p>A smile spread across her face at the message, making a mental note to call Sam once she got home. </p><p>As Lena was typing out a response, the sound of laughter seemed to drown out the rest of the restaurant chatter. </p><p>Lena paused. </p><p>She knew that laugh like the back of her hand. </p><p>She looked up from her phone and glanced over to the far left of the restaurant to see Kara sitting at a rectangular table with Nia, Alex, Kelly, and some man that was looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky. </p><p>It made Lena’s stomach turn, nausea overtaking her at the thought of Kara having something with him. </p><p>She watched as Alex threw a wadded up straw wrapper at the blonde, the paper bouncing off of her nose and sending her into another fit of laughter as she took a napkin and wadded it up. </p><p>Just before she was about to throw it at Alex, the man reached over and took it out of her hand, their hands touching a little longer than was considered ‘friendly’ and Kara looked away, her hand finding her glasses the second that he pulled his away, and adjusting them in the same nervous manner that Lena knew all too well. </p><p>The way she used to act around Lena whenever she became flustered. </p><p>It made Lena’s chest ache with an unbearable tightness and her heart hammered with a hollow pain in her chest. </p><p>Unable to stay a second longer, Lena turned around and left the restaurant, not bothering to take the bag from the waitress who was coming back with her food. </p><p>“Ma’am, don't forget your food!” The waitress called out, but it was too late. </p><p>Lena stormed out of the building and back onto the sidewalk, leaving with the knowledge of a confirmed certainty. </p><p>Kara was fine. </p><p>She had her friends. </p><p>She had this new man in her life. </p><p>She didn't need Lena anymore. </p><p>She never did. </p><p>Shame on her for thinking that she was ever someone special to Kara. </p><p>Every single thing Kara has ever said to her- it was all just a bunch of lies. </p><p>How she had said that Lena would never be alone again. </p><p>How she had said she'd always be there. </p><p>One thing was sure. </p><p>Kara was fine. </p><p>Kara had moved on. </p><p>And Lena was alone. </p><p>Again. </p><p>Lena didn't even think twice as she took off down the sidewalk, heading for her apartment and not even thinking to call for her driver. </p><p>Despite it being a twenty minute walk in her red bottoms, Lena barely noticed the time going by as her thoughts raged inside her head. </p><p>Before she knew it, she was standing in the living room of her apartment and kicking off her heels. </p><p>To her annoyance, her eyes instinctively traveled over to the spot on her bookcase in the far left corner where the photo sat neatly in its frame. </p><p>The image of herself and Kara smiled back at her. </p><p>She walked over and took the picture frame into her hands and stormed out onto her balcony, with every intention of throwing it over the edge and watching it shatter like their friendship had, but just as she was about to throw it over, she stopped. </p><p>Some broken and pleading part of her was clinging to the tiny slivers of her Kara that she had left and she just couldn't bring herself to let go. </p><p>With an aggravated groan she threw her head back and casted her green eyes up to the dark evening sky. </p><p>The murky greyness of the clouds were just visible with the lights of the city reflecting back down off of them. </p><p>Rain was definitely coming. </p><p>A strong sense of bitterness took over Lena, as she scoffed and tossed the picture back onto the patio table. She turned away from it with her back to the table, like if she couldn’t see it, maybe it would just disappear and take all the pain with it. </p><p>How could she be so.. fine? </p><p>How could Kara just be fine when Lena was still hurting so badly? </p><p>No. </p><p>Whatever. </p><p>It's fine. </p><p>Kara could move on and take her lies and her dishonesty and give it to someone else. </p><p>She seemed to have moved on like it was so simple to her, and Lena would be damned if she let herself be dragged down a rabbit hole of despair because of Kara Danvers and her lies. </p><p>If that was even her real name..</p><p>It doesn't matter. </p><p>Lena doesn't need her anymore. </p><p>Lena would manage. </p><p>She would be okay. </p><p>Right? </p><p>In a moment of uncertainty, Lena bit down on her faded red lip and peaked just slightly over her shoulder. </p><p>It was still there. </p><p>The glossy black frame seemingly lit up as lightning flashed across the sky. </p><p>Suddenly, a hiccuped sob escaped from her so violently and abruptly that Lena was sure that she was about to completely break down.</p><p>That’s when she accepted that she wouldn’t just be okay. </p><p>Not with this hole inside of her. </p><p>The brunette turned around completely and reached out to gently trace the glass of the photo frame directly over Kara's face, tears streaming down her cheeks as memories of that night flashing through her head. </p><p>The way Kara was adamant about her and Lena having about twenty different photos taken of just the two of them. </p><p>How Kara wouldn't let anyone partner up with Lena except for herself. </p><p>The way that Kara was linking their arms together or cuddling against her at any given opportunity that she could. </p><p>Sometimes, Lena wished she could go back in time and relive the days when Kara was hers. </p><p>Simply her Kara. </p><p>If only she could have just one day. </p><p>Maybe then she would’ve seen it. </p><p>Maybe she would’ve seen the lies right in front of her face. </p><p>See why Kara felt that she couldn't tell her the truth sooner. </p><p>Maybe things could've been different. </p><p>If only she would have seen it. </p><p>Lena could play what if’s all day, but it still wouldn't change that fact that Kara had lied. </p><p>That whatever it was that they had, now laid in ruins. </p><p>Her thoughts shifted to the last time she had spoken with the blonde on that exact balcony months before. </p><p>When Kara finally gave up on her, seeming so determined and sure of herself as she wrote Lena off as a villain so easily and disappeared into the night without so much as another glance. </p><p>Using her biggest insecurity and fear and throwing it right back into her face. </p><p>Did Lena deserve it? </p><p>Well, she was beginning to think so, because how could she go from a good person to a villain in the matter of two conversations? </p><p>Just another thing to add to the list of lies Kara had told her. </p><p>Who knows, maybe there was something for Lena to learn from this. </p><p>Some kind of moral to the story. </p><p>Some kind of means to an end. </p><p>Lena tried to make sense of how something like this could possibly make sense, but no matter how she tried to justify it or find some kind of light in the situation, there was nothing she could gain that was worth the pain she felt of losing Kara. </p><p>Her mind was racing with conflicting emotions and pain, so much pain, that Lena couldn't even begin to try and think rationally. </p><p>She was lost in her own head until a sudden gust of wind blew by her, strong enough to blow her hair across her damp cheeks. </p><p>She knew the exact cause the second that the familiar scent of warm vanilla and home and heartbreak seemingly slapped her in the face, giving it away. </p><p>Closing her eyes for a few seconds to try and compose herself, she slowly reopened them and turned to look to her right. </p><p>There she was. </p><p>Kara. </p><p>Not Supergirl. </p><p>But Kara. </p><p>Kara in the same style of fitted slacks and a tucked in button up that made Lena’s stomach erupt with butterflies. Her blonde hair was down and falling in loose curls, her bangs resting just at the tops of her glasses. </p><p>They stood there for what felt like an eternity, Lena frozen in place and Kara nervously fidgeting with her glasses, looking at Lena with that same verge-of-tears look that almost broke Lena everytime. </p><p>This time, Lena was certain that it had. </p><p>The very foundation that she was made of felt cracked, and Lena just couldn't pretend that her pain was pure anger at a betrayal anymore. </p><p>It was so much more. </p><p>It was the loss of everything she had ever needed. </p><p>She had lost more than just her best friend that night. </p><p>She had lost her home, and Lena couldn't deny the gaping hole that was now inside of her. </p><p>The sense of never ending loss was excruciating.</p><p>It was a hurt that made her feel like she would never heal. </p><p>That nothing would ever be right again. </p><p>Not without Kara. </p><p>But even with her standing right in front of her, Lena knew that her Kara was never coming back. </p><p>With that, Lena finally broke her gaze away from Kara's and was about to turn around to go inside, lock the patio door and disappear into her room to try -and fail- to forget about Kara for what she knew would be something she would do for the rest of her life. </p><p>But that's when Kara opened her mouth and began to speak, the tremble in her voice freezing Lena in her tracks and sending a shockwave of yearning throughout Lena’s body the way it did every single time. </p><p>The way it always had with her Kara. </p><p>“Hi.” </p><p>A raindrop fell against Lena’s nose. </p><p>A sharp sound of thunder cracked over their heads. </p><p>“Hi.” </p><p>The downpour started.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So you can take the symbolism of the rain anyway you'd like! Maybe you'd like it to be positive, a sign of a cleansing or washing away of all of the pain and hurt as Kara and Lena go on to have their conversation. Or negatively as a symbol of unrest and destruction. Whichever, your heart desires. </p><p>Follow me on Twitter @uselesslezz</p><p>Feel free to comment (I love comments)! And send me a message with prompts or ideas if you'd like :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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